10. Getting a job is overrated.
9. $200,000 - 4 years.
8. You'll stay up all night writing inane things on your blog that no one reads.
7. By senior year, you will be an alcoholic and a smoker.
6. High school girls are easier.
5. Your roommate will be a douchebag.
4. Prison food is better.
3. You'll major in Disappointment with a minor in The Art of Bullshitting.
2. Facebook will take up most of your time, with short breaks for eating and sleeping through class. (It's not as fun as it sounds.)
And the number one reason why you should never, under any circumstances go to college is... (drumroll)
1. You will learn enough to realize all of the above and eventually drop out anyway.
Thanks for watching, folks. Get home safe.