New Poll Question

By the way, this question is totally a joke. If you find it inappropriate, you're an idiot and you've missed the point completely.

It's kind of my immature college equivalent of the fourth grade note that reads:

do you like me? (circle one) 

YES NO MAYBE

And if anyone's interested my number is 867-5309. For a good time, call.

Summer is for Fucking (Part 1)

I thought it was about time to make a new post here. I've learned to hate this Godforsaken blog over the past few months, but I'm gonna try to turn it around in time for the beginning of classes in the fall.

Summer is for fucking because summer is when all the cool kids have sex on the beach and under shady trees and in public restrooms--wait, scratch that last one, that's pathetic, lonely old men, but at least they're getting laid--and the losers like me continually get fucked by everyone but the girl of my dreams. And also because I say the word fuck a lot.

First of all, Fuck you, Grassroots Campaigns Inc., you suck. You take money from people without being able to tell them where it's going. While briefly working for you, I quickly realized that that's because it's going to lobbyists and special interest groups, you fucking hypocrites. "We're nonpartisan, we swear." Oh yeah? Is that why you have a picture of John McCain likened to Hitler in your New York canvassing office and you start off the day by saying left is right and right is wrong. I don't care whether I support Obama or not, don't tell me that you're nonpartisan and then shove liberal views down people's throats. I'm not a conservative, but i'm also not a fucking liar, which is more than I can say for GCI. Good riddance, motherfuckers.

By the way, after I quit, these high class employers withheld my pay for the two days I spent out on the street, discovering that Europeans will stop when you look them in the eye but Americans will pretend to be on the phone or just ignore you entirely. I still haven't received the money, and frankly, I wouldn't accept it anyway. When I came back to the office with a large number of stops (people who stop to talk to me and my clipboard) but only $60 on my first day out, and in the pouring rain I might add, I was informed that I needed more training in how to 

get those people to give me their money. The problem is why would anyone give their credit card information to a man on the streets of New York with a clipboard and no identification proving his affiliation to the group that he claims to be representing. I wouldn't and neither should you, because chances are that it's a swindle. Therefore I quit and was essentially fucked as I had wasted all of my money from my job in Boston and didn't even have the prospects for another job. I know, not entirely their fault but nevertheless I was fucked. But that's what the summer is for.

I didn't proofread this post, so please excuse the typos and mindless errors that I may have made. 

I'll be updating this more throughout the summer as I find more examples of why summer is for fucking, or in my case, for getting fucked. 

My List

If you want some background info on why I'm doing this read the lengthy post that follows this one. My apologies to those of you who don't have the time or attention span to devote to reading more than a paragraph or two. 

The book inspired me to make my own list of childhood dreams, or goals, and to do a check-up of sorts to see how I'm coming along.

1. Become a professional baseball player.

~Status: Failed. However, I did just kick my floormates' asses in some MLB 2K8. I don't care if Sutie's never played before, I'll still be greedy on the basepaths.

2. Go to college. Don't drop out. (Sorry, Dad, but I've always been nervous that I'd take the same route you did. Hope you understand.)

~Status: In production. So far, so good, I haven't cracked under the pressure yet.

3. Get married to a woman that I love with all my heart.

~Status: Fuck, does this one seem like a difficult task at the moment. Maybe in a few years, these girls won't be so fuckin' self-absorbed. Or maybe I'll have the balls to pursue the ones who aren't so self-absorbed. By the way, your obsession with MTV and celebrity gossip makes you LESS appealing.

4. Have kids. Love said kids with all of said heart.

~Status: Complete step 3 first.

5. Go to Ireland.

~Status: In discussions with sister about proposed future trip to Europe. I'm confident this one will happen.

6. Write a book.

~Status: Well, I'm honing my skills as a writer through the employment of this blog as well as improving myself with the criticism and assistance of BU's writing faculty.

7. Become a famous musician.

~Status: Most likely not going to happen; however, striving towards this goal with my heart completely immersed in it for two years really helped me to mature and grow. My continued guitar-playing and songwriting is also an excellent release for everyday stresses and a superb form of self therapy. I'm a fucking artist. Two people will get that joke.

8. Be healthy (as far as it is under my control to do so).

~Status: In progress. I'm in shape, but not as good as I wanna be. Need to eat healthier and do more fun athletic things that I haven't done as much since coming to college.

9. Help People.

~Status: This one's a doozy. I really got ambitious on this one. I envision a future in which I have done everything in my power to alleviate any and all peoples from as much pain as it is in my power to do. If I can, then I should.

Okay, I'm really fuckin' tired; I'm going to sleep. Seriously, please leave comments, I'm curious to see how people respond to these last two posts. Any and all feedback and/or criticism is welcomed and appreciated.

Peace & Love,

~The Mick

Childhood Dreams

It's 5:32 AM, and I'm wide awake and feel inexplicably alive. I'm in one of those places mentally where you just feel like you're on top of the world. I read a book today called The Last Lecture. It was written by Randy Pausch with Jeffrey Zaslow, a columnist for The Washington Post. Pausch is a computer scientist and professor who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2006 that would unfortunately spread to his liver and spleen. 

In August of 2007, he was given months to live and began palliative chemotherapy to try to ease the pain and buy him a few extra months. Anyway, Randy decided that he wouldn't just give up and so, in September, he gave a lecture at Carnegie Mellon entitled "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams." He became semi-famous after giving this lecture, with an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show in October and an hour-long interview with Diane Sawyer that aired April 9th on ABC.

For Randy, he points all of his success to his upbringing and credits his parents with allowing him to achieve his dreams. He likes cliches and quotes from other people, because they are full of wisdom and when you say things that smart people say, it's easy to look smart yourself; so, as Randy says, "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." I, too, love cliches and really appreciate the fact that my parents impart their wisdom on to me.

So, here's my brief (pshh, yeah right, am I ever brief when I become impassioned?) summary of how I came to be reading the book today and subsequently writing this entry. My mom likes to send me chain e-mails with "uplifting" messages. Most of the time, they are written by middle-aged white women who, no offense, don't know shit and need to rely on recycled spiritual garbage to stay positive about their mediocre upper middle class existence. You know, the Oprah crowd. Anyway, sometimes mi madre can be one of them and she sent me a clip from Oprah that showed Randy reprising his "Last Lecture." Long story short, I'm a loser, and I was inspired by what he had to say.

Fast forward a few days. I feel inspired once again, but in a different sense. I just saw economist Jeffrey Sachs give a speech to some students about the economic health of this country and the things that can be done in order to end poverty. He has a new book, too, called Common Wealth. So after dinner, I decided to take a stroll over to the Barnes & Noble in Kenmore Square to pick it up. As I'm browsing through the shelves (one of my favorite pastimes), I stumble upon a copy of The Last Lecture and decide to buy it as a gift for my mother. To pay for my purchases that day, I whipped out my trusty B&N gift card, which I received when returning a textbook my father paid for and by using his membership card for 10% off. Thanks Mom and Dad, always there to help even when you are not really there.

So I was having a good day today, the weather was beautiful, why not take a few minutes to glance through a few pages, see if it's any good? Two hours and 206 pages later, here I am, with a newfound sense of hope. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that my grandmother passed away three years ago after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. If you want to make a donation or find out more about the disease, check out these charitable websites: The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, and The Lustgarten Foundation for Pancreatic Cancer Research because c'mon, seriously, who doesn't wanna help cure cancer?

Okay, so, wow, I've been rambling. Anyway, if you wanna read an excerpt from the book or see the reprisal of the lecture on Oprah, check them out below. And be sure to read my list of childhood dreams up above and leave a comment on your childhood dreams.

New Link Posted; Je ne sais quoi

Hey guys,

My friend Jill (who can apparently look sexy and creepy all at the same time--see right) is going abroad to France in the spring, and we will all dearly miss her. Anyway, she will be chronicling her zany adventures commencing in September of this year. She speaks French and has recently come to the conclusion that all of the electronics in her life have decided to revolt against her, for serious.

Wicked sweet!

What's the equivalent of  Spanglish when combining the French and English languages? Frenglish, perhaps. Anyway, I assume that her entries will be written in Frenglish. As always, ridiculousness prevails.

Good luck, Jill!

With nothing but love and support,

~Your friend Michel (Je parle Francais?)

P.S. See you in a few weeks at the GSU Tech Rock Band Party!! Augh Yeeaah!!!!!!

Freedom

So, in case you hadn't noticed, my previous post was an exercise in free speech and I suppose also freedom of the press--which, for the uneducated or unappreciative, gives me the right to employ the use of any words that I desire in order to express myself. This right is monumentally important in understanding why America is such a great country to live in as well as something that we as Americans tend to take for granted--especially in times like these when we feel oppressed by our government (and rightly so) when we should be looking towards the future with hope for change.

It's why I am able to verbally litter all over the internet despite the fact that what I have to say may not be important to anybody but me. But I am allowed to say it, for whatever reason, even with malicious intent in my heart if I so choose. Unfortunately, I oft times choose to express myself with a cynical view of the world. Over the last few days, however, I've been in a much more positive place, and I now strive to embrace the rights given to me by our forefathers and potentially give thanks for the protection I am granted by the government (when they want to--that was a joke, people, loosen up; I can still make them). 

I believe in an America where our children can grow up without fear, an America where people of all different ethnic backgrounds

and heritages can live together in harmony, and an America in which I can express myself freely, profess faith to whichever god I choose, or even no god at all, an America where I have the right to my privacy, an America in which I am given the opportunity to live freely in the pursuit of happiness for both my family and myself. 

Never give up on America. We are more than a country. We are a beacon of hope, a light in the darkness. We are built around ideas and the free expression of those ideas, whether someone else likes it or not. We are leaders for the world over. And now more than ever, it is crucial that we display our values. The world's getting smaller and that means that our generation is presented with the unique opportunity to help save it. Everyone's watching, let's try not to fuck this one up.

~Michael Carlos

P.S. You see how I slipped the expletive in there at the end. Yep, I still got it. 

Fucking Retards!!!

Bill Gates is not giving away his fucking fortune you mindless fucking idiots. Why would he pay everyone thousands of dollars to send out an e-mail when everyday billions of e-mails are sent anyway? Out of the kindness of his heart, he just wanted to repay all of the fat lazy Americans
who made him rich in the first place. NOT!!

Okay, now, if you get an e-mail telling you this, and you send it on to people, then you are only furthering the perpetration of fraud against the general public. I don't really give a shit if you do that because the general public is amassed of other mindless fucking idiots like yourselves.

This bullshit chain letter has been circulating on the internet for over four years now. But here's the kicker: at current count 97,397 people are in a group on facebook dedicated to this. First of all, even if you were dumb enough to believe the story, how does joining a group on facebook make you any money? And don't say you joined it because you thought it was funny, you know that deep in your heart you actually sort of believed it, you greedy fucking bastards.

Anyway, the world's gonna fucking end, we're all gonna fucking die, and it's all your fucking fault.

Thanks again.

See you in Hell,

~Michael Fucking Carlos 

New Link Posted; Check This Out

So, a friend of mine from high school is not quite as lazy as I am and began writing a daily rant on facebook. His rants are hysterical. He has now decided to post them as a blog on this website. So for anybody who visits my blog and is bored because I never update it, check his out. Be careful, though, because he might take a picture of you in the mirror.

You can find the link to his blog, Jacques Daily Rant, on the right hand side of the page under the title (duh?!) 'Links'.

Cool. I'm done. More later...

RANT!!!!!!!!!! part deux

"RANT!!!!!!!!!!!!" was one of my best pieces, and it has now come to my attention that the world is completely fucked up. Therefore, I shall rant again.

Today, Monday, March 31st -- 6 a.m.

So I'm leisurely strolling down Comm. Ave. on my way to my weekly radio program on WTBU (SIQ Mondays from 6-8. Wake up with morning SIQness!!!). I glance across the street and what do my eyes fall upon? The majestic  prestige of the Warren Towers Taco Bell. Sadly, I cannot stop in later today and enjoy a deliciously unauthentic Mexican feast. Instead, I must toil in my own gloom until I find a new place to satisfy my hunger for familiar, unhealthy foods at a ridiculously low price. Why, do you ask, must I be tortured by this painful separation from the one I love?

Well, according to rumors posted on facebook (the most reliable source of info on the web), this particular restaurant happens to be closing in favor of the soul-ravaging coffee chain, Starbucks (Dun, dun, DUNNNNN!!!!!!). My speculation is that Boston University is getting rid of Taco Bell's cheap, fattening eats in favor of promoting healthy eating options around campus. In recent years, a Burger King that used to grace the sidewalks of Comm. Ave. was also shut down by the University (also according to as-of-yet unsubstantiated rumors). 

I, for one, am outraged. Who does Boston University think it is? Forcing its students to be torn from that which satisfies their late night cravings and left with no other option but to shell out valuable dining points on crappy Late Nite in the dining halls. And another Starbucks?! Seriously? That makes five consecutive T stops on the green line where there will be a Starbucks available. Their coffee isn't even that good; I'd much rather enjoy a hot cup of joe from City Convenience, 7-Eleven, or Dunkin' Donuts. 

I'm calling 'bullshit' and I urge you all to join me in my unrest at this travesty of an injustice. Something has to be done. There's already a facebook group and possibly, a petition, I'm not sure, but something greater must be done. It may be too late for Taco Bell, but we can take a stand and boycott Starbucks until the University is forced to bring in some other form of cheap eats available late at night (and dining halls and the GSU don't count).

Anyway, I kept walking down Comm. Ave. after my show had ended, and I was offered a free Monster Energy drink. Sweet, I AM tired, and I DID only get four hours of sleep. As I arrive to work, I crack that muthafucker open and chug. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!! For those of you who don't know, the ingredients to Monster are as follows:

~Taurine

~Ginseng

~B Vitamins

~L-Carnitine

~Robitussin

~Pop Rocks, and

~Crack Cocaine

There are two servings per container and 7400 mg of their energy blend which includes all of the above, plus glucose, caffeine, guarana, inositol, glucuronolactone, and maltodextrin. Therefore, I am high as a fuckin' kite right now. Hope my heart doesn't burst. But, I kid.

Anyway, I hope everyone has an enjoyable day and does not-- I repeat, does not-- go to Starbucks. It is the coffee of the devil. Drink coffee from CityCo, the nectar of the gods. By the way, I know BU has a vested interest in CityCo as well, I just don't care. It tastes good, the people don't bother me, and it's cheap. Fuck you, naysayers.

Keep on livin' the dream, loyal readers,

Sincerely yours,

~Michael J. Carlos, Rantier Extraordinaire

It's Been Awhile..

Spring is almost in the air. Baseball is coming back to town. The sun keeps chillin' with us long after 5 o'clock. And we still have a whole month until those pesky finals ruin our lives. So what could possibly be bugging me during such a wonderful time of year?

...Nothing. Now, I know what you're thinking. "He's bluffing. He's gonna lull me into a false sense of security and then 'BOOM', he hits me in the face with a roundhouse from his repertoire of rants." Sorry folks, not today. I'm just getting another post on here so that everybody is ready when I blow in a few days.

You see, it's my experience on this planet that everything tends to even itself out. When I'm angry, surely a day will come when things go completely my way and I will be at peace with the world. And on the other hand, when I'm enduring a dry spell of fury, and my life is 

actually coasting along without impediment...CRASH!!! It all comes falling apart with one fell swoop, and yours truly flies into a black Irish rage over the injustices that have been committed.

So tread lightly, loyal readers, for a dangerous situation is just around the corner.

And I'll be waiting in the shadows to save the day.

Until then, enjoy the silence,

~MC

P.S. My karma ran over your dogma. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

Bob Mould: Still Loud, Still Alive

On Thursday night, I went into Union Square in NYC to see Bob Mould, formerly of the bands Husker Du and Sugar, play the Fillmore at Irving Plaza in support of his new album, District Line. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I'd never seen him live and the reviews of his Chicago shows weren't very good according to my dad, who I brought to the show- he forgave me for ridiculing his poor movie choice.

We warmed up our musical palettes by watching U2 3D and browsing around in the local Virgin Megastore. Then, we nearly lost our appetite altogether when the opening act came on around 9. The band's name was Halou, and my father, in his infinite cleverness, said, "Halou, Goodbye." They blew. So we went down to the lobby and read press clippings from shows at the Fillmore during its heyday from 1968 to '71. That helped to pass the time for a while, but I'm an extremely impatient human being. I had arrived, so it only made sense that Bob Mould should accommodate me by going on immediately.

He didn't go on until almost 10:15, and it was well worth the wait. He played hard, loud, and fast the entire show. But the most incredible thing was how melodic he could keep the songs without losing that edge. We stumbled out of there and wandered down the block to the parking garage with our ears ringing from the sheer explosiveness of the music. I'm one more frequency down, but I got another great show under my belt.

New Poll Question

Hey guys, if you look to your right, there's an ostrich feeding its young!!--no,  there isn't, but seriously there is a new poll question posted.

What was the worst movie of 2007?

Vote or Die. 

Puffy's gonna be after you now.

You've been warned.

The Loved Ones and The Gaslight Anthem Rock The Middle East

Last night, I attended the sold out Loved Ones show at The Middle East upstairs in Cambridge. I got there around 9 pm, and the first opening act, LaGrecia, hit the stage at around 9:15. I'm gonna take a guess that they haven't been together too long, but that's only because they look so young and are the first opening act for a group that just got over being an opening act themselves. This threesome from Brooklyn has some real chops when it comes to playing music. What the lead singer lacks in vocal talent he makes up for with his undying passion for the songs. This band, which features a chick on drums (wink, wink?), was extremely tight and each of their songs faded seamlessly into the next, a feat usually accomplished only by seasoned veterans of the rock club circuit. Bravo, LaGrecia, hope to see you guys around again sometime very soon. 

Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing for the next act, The Ergs. This trio looked like three geeks from high school, but I don't like to judge a book by its cover so I decided to check them out. MISTAKE #1!!!! They played like a bunch of geeks, too. The drummer sang, or should I say whined, the ridiculously cheesy lyrics into the mic while trying to keep an honest beat and was for the most part, successful. Now, when it came to the guitarist singing, it might be helpful to think of the sounds made by a dying animal, but luckily he only had lead on a couple of songs. The bass player, aside form looking like he had down syndrome while playing, was actually an incredibly talented musician. However, that was not enough to save this sorry act. NEXT!

By the time The Gaslight Anthem gets up on stage, I'm thinking maybe I wasted my money on this show. MISTAKE #2!!!! This foursome from Jersey absolutely rocked the house. The lead singer and rhythm guitarist belted out the lyrics with a huge smile stretching across his face the whole time. In fact, everybody in the band was smiling and laughing as they played. The crowd sang along the entire time and Brian, the exceedingly charismatic frontman, seemed to love the crowd as much as they loved him. It was the perfect union of man and music. Their setlist included songs that ranged in influence from Sam Cooke to Bruce Springsteen to The Clash. At one point, Brian even sang a few bars from "Stand By Me", the Ben E. King song famously covered by John Lennon. I highly recommend this band to Against Me! fans and any and all serious music fans. Their bass player even looked a little like classic Sid Vicious clips when he brashly stuck his chin out and mouthed the words while smiling and nodding at the crowd like he knew something that they didn't. The only difference, of course, was that he could actually play his instrument, unlike Sid. When it came time for the last song in the set, nobody in the place wanted them to leave. As soon as they were off the stage, I was at the merch table purchasing the debut CD and a t-shirt of my new favorite band. They have a new EP out called Senor and the Queen. GO GET IT!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!! P.S. They're from New Jersey, shocking!? Not even a little.

I don't even need to review The Loved Ones performance. I have now seen them three times, and believe me, they never disappoint. They had an excellent mix of songs from the new album and older tunes in their repertoire. Seeing two amazing acts in one night was so much more than I could ever ask for. Thanks guys for putting on such an awesome show.