No Eyebrows, No Mercy.

Drew Danburry has a new website!

2009-09-03T15:14:00.004-04:00

Every once in a while, you might notice if you're paying any attention, a musician comes along that speaks from his or her heart with such profound insight and passion that his or her music lifts you to a higher place.

Drew Danburry is one of those select few. I consider it a true honor to have met and spoken with him several times.

He is on tour right now playing guitar and singing from his heart. Go catch a show. (myspace.com/drewdanburry for tour dates)

It is my pleasure to introduce you to his wonderful world of sound.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Drew Danburry's new website:

www.drewdanburry.com

There are free songs. Go!

Procrastination is not the enemy.

2009-04-29T22:56:00.004-04:00

I wrote my last post exactly one month ago. In the last month I have decided that it's not better to write nothing at all instead of writing all of the papers that were due.

I usually procrastinate writing papers (like I'm doing right now) by writing about my feelings or some other bullshit on this blog or taking a walk around BU to try and clear my head.

When I refrain from doing these things, an anxiety builds up in the back of my mind and the paper doesn't get written. Right now, I have a page and a half complete on an eight-page paper that was due this morning. I'll lose some points for sending it in late tomorrow morning, but I'll finish it nevertheless.

But the problem is not the papers. There will always be papers (or whatever the equivalent is in my post-college career). The real problem is that I'm not satisfied with my life choices. There's something unspeakable that burns in my soul and makes me yearn for greater things than what I'm supposed to want. I don't give a shit about your fast cars and beautiful homes. I don't care about getting a job or making money or paying off my student loans. I have no motivation to write this paper. Not because I'm lazy, but because it really doesn't matter what I have to say about Elizabeth Bowen's wartime short stories. Even if these stories are of interest to me, that's all they are: something interesting.

All I want to do is listen to one of my favorite albums and watch the river flow. I want to have deep conversations with whoever will sit and listen and discuss things with me. I want to play guitar--by myself because no one else appreciates it--and sing my fucking heart out. But I sit here and write these stupid papers about other people's stories when I should be creating my own.

Can I get a witness?

Summer is for Fucking (Part 2)

2009-03-29T20:19:00.003-04:00

As the days get longer, classes get harder to care about, and my mind wanders to the world outside the windows. Everybody is making plans for the summer and counting the days until classes end and fun begins.

But I, for one, did not particularly enjoy last summer. A summer I spent scanning parking tickets and collecting money at a hospital parking lot right down the street from my childhood home was the last thing I expected to be doing with those four months of glorious weather and a reprieve from the dreariness of winter and classes.

So this summer, I have plans:

Maybe I'll turn this blog into something that I'd actually want to read rather than just a catalogue of my meandering thoughts.
I want to write a collection of short stories. I want anyone who reads this list to tell me three things that you want me to include in a story and I will do my fucking damnedest to produce something entertaining for you.
I want to go on a road trip. Somewhere. Anywhere.
I want to record an EP or something with the greatest fucking band anywhere near BU, The Clap.
I want to see somebody in a crowded room staring back at me, lulling me into a trance with her eyes--or his eyes? Maybe an Otis Redding song will be playing. Maybe the night will turn into morning. The sun will probably rise. I'll make breakfast.
I want to accomplish something.
I want to love somebody.
I want suggestions from everyone on how to spend my summer.

Let's hope that this summer I don't get fucked like last year.

Cheers to those of you who have somebody to spend the summer with. Cherish them.

~MC

P.S. Professors.

St. Patrick's Day, or Why Irish People Party Better Than Everybody Else

2009-03-18T15:23:00.009-04:00

Imagine a band of fiddlers, mandolin pluckers, pipe corps, and Bono playing a song about the countryside. Imagine you're inside an authentic Irish pub, downing a pint with Denis Leary. Now sit back and enjoy my list of reasons why Irish people party better than everybody else.

Reason # 1: Pints of Guinness make you strong.

Reason # 2: Blonde hair, blue eyes, green shirts.

Reason # 3: Drinking in the day.

Reason # 4: Bastards on parade.

Reason # 5: Whiskey.

Reason # 6: Everyone else is pretending to be Irish and with good reason.

Reason # 7: The Dropkick Murphys.

Reason # 8: Green beer.

Reason # 9: Even a good Catholic boy doesn't have to feel guilty on this, the feast day of the patron saint of Ireland, New York, Boston, Nigeria (why?), engineers, and against snakes. Those slithering bastards.

Reason # 10: Everyone eats corned beef AND cabbage, two equally repulsive foods, and pretends to really be enjoying it.

The Golden Reason: Um, hello, Leprechauns.

Spring Brake? (Part 2)

2009-03-10T18:07:00.007-04:00

This one might take me a few more words.

I stayed up until 5 AM the morning before going home. The previous night involved Chinese food, bears, a few bottles of wine, a beautiful woman, multi-colored dreadlocks, and a loaded handgun. I won't go into detail.

I woke up a few hours later and hurriedly packed in order to make an early bus back to New York. I didn't make the early bus. I did, however, return in time to see the Dropkick Murphys play at the Roseland Ballroom. There was this chick band called Civet. The lead singer screams a bit (she's clearly been hurt before).

Before that, I was refused service at a New York City pizza joint--the day I got back. I ate at McDonald's. Life is not fair.

Later, I was handed a garbage bag full of condoms, a pair of handcuffs, and a vibrator. Life is so not fair. This story also involves a white rat, a chest tattoo, and a trip to Australia. It's probably better if I just leave it at that.

I got a haircut and the guy at the salon asked me for my cell phone number. I gave it to him--somewhat reluctantly and confusedly. He then explained that he wasn't asking me on a date but sometimes he has extra tickets to Red Sox games. If none of his friends can come, he said he'll give me a call. He's 55 and he and his wife have been good friends with my mom for twenty years. I felt awkward so I made some joke about NPR. He then told me about liberal conspiracies and how I'd be a conservative once I had a mortgage and kids. He's probably right. I'd drop my morals and convictions in a minute if it would make my life any easier. I'm a hypocrite. But my hair is beautiful and silky soft.

Later that night, when my friend and I were walking out of a pool hall, we saw a Petco across the street. We went in, of course, and my friend bought a black and white rat and named her Mary the Rat. This is why I hang out with him. Things are always interesting.

Other activities included collecting several dozen white rocks at some private beach and visiting my 82-year-old grandma in Queens in between writing papers and writing songs.

Now I'm back in Boston and Spring Broke--I told you about the puns.

~MC

Spring Brake AKA The Bad Puns Continue...

2009-03-07T22:59:00.004-05:00

Time to chill out.

Turn off all of the bullshit. Turn on the TV.

Stop. Take some time to think. Figure out what's important to you.

Music. Family. Food.

Silence. Enjoy it.

My spring break so far, in less than 50 words.

More Later...

~Mc

S'no Day AKA More Bad Puns

2009-03-02T08:44:00.003-05:00

Boston University cancelled class today. Therefore, today did not happen.

I was so fucking excited that I finally had a snow day again that I commemorated the occasion by watching a lot of TV and taking a lengthy nap. Being in college allows me to invent new ways to waste my life each and every day of my hapless existence.

My sister wrote a 9-page short story. I ate some chicken and curly fries that I found in my room.

My dad enjoyed his snow day in beautiful, scenic New Hamphire. I literally watched the Charles River thaw.

Kids in the area had snowball fights and built igloos. I decided against taking a shower.

I watched the second season of Seinfeld. It was the highlight of an entirely blissful period of time in which I would normally listen to other people tell me how to live my life and why the way I am currently doing it is wrong.

I managed to summon the energy to walk down the hall of my dorm only to watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 and Sex and the City with Andrea. I think I'm a Miranda.

Andrea studied for her Italian midterm tomorrow. I made inane comments and philosophized about the mental well being of poor Jon (he hates himself).

Snow days are fucking awesome. Not because they allow you to finally accomplish all of those things you've been too busy to do but because they allow you to procrastinate those activities without guilt or shame.

I raise my glass to everyone else who enjoyed this snow day American-style (fat, lazy, and in front of the television).

'Til next time,

~The one and only

P.S. 35 days until Jesus comes back. I hope he brings food. Yeahhh!!!

ReLENTless AKA I like bad puns...

2009-02-26T17:24:00.003-05:00

I am a Catholic.

Yesterday was Ash Wednesday. It was the first Ash Wednesday in as long as I can remember that I did not receive ashes. I didn't forget either. I was reminded by my sister via text message that I should get them and I saw people with them on their foreheads walking around all day.

I even had an opportunity to receive them when I came out of Beijing Cafe last night around 10:20 and saw the lights on across the street in Marsh Chapel. My friend Kara and I walked up to the doors and peered inside at all of the people attending mass. She said to me, "We could stay. It's up to you." I declined, so instead we went to Crispy Crepes for dessert.

On the way there, we discussed fate vs. pre-destination and other matters pertaining to faith and religion.

"I'm not sure what I believe anymore, but I've always gotten ashes" I said.

She replied, "Well, what do they mean?"

I couldn't answer that. I mustered up something nonsensical about Jesus spending time in the desert and the palms from Palm Sunday being used to make the ashes and just blurted it out. I also told her that I wasn't giving anything up for Lent.

What would I give up?

-Being awesome? Not possible.

-My old ace in the hole, soda? Already given up for health reasons.

-Women? Yeah, right.

-Alcohol? See above.

-Junk food? What does that really even accomplish? I love junk food. It's delicious.

I'm sure there's something that I could give up for Lent if I really thought hard about it, but I just don't care as much as I did when I was a kid and my teachers and my mom told me to give something up. Maybe I don't have as much faith anymore. Or maybe I never did; it was just obedience to adults and once I was old enough to make my own decisions, I gave up my religion.

In the end, just to satisfy Kara--who didn't like my previous post (I know, how could anyone NOT like that? I was just thinking the same thing.)--I have decided to give up fiddling with the flukes of modern technology and trying to learn how to salsa dance.

Umm, you're welcome, Kara.

~Mike

P.S. 39 days 'til Jesus gets back, Woot Woot!!!

Top Ten Reasons You Shouldn't Go To College

2009-02-25T01:01:00.002-05:00

10. Getting a job is overrated.

9. $200,000 - 4 years.

8. You'll stay up all night writing inane things on your blog that no one reads.

7. By senior year, you will be an alcoholic and a smoker.

6. High school girls are easier.

5. Your roommate will be a douchebag.

4. Prison food is better.

3. You'll major in Disappointment with a minor in The Art of Bullshitting.

2. Facebook will take up most of your time, with short breaks for eating and sleeping through class. (It's not as fun as it sounds.)

And the number one reason why you should never, under any circumstances go to college is... (drumroll)

...

...

1. You will learn enough to realize all of the above and eventually drop out anyway.

Thanks for watching, folks. Get home safe.

It's the End of the World As We Know It

2009-02-17T21:59:00.005-05:00

Plane crashes in the Hudson. Everyone lives. Miracle.

Plane crashes into a house in Buffalo. Everyone dies. Tragedy.

Fires ravage Australia. Thousands die.

I say, "Apocalypse."

Ever seen the movie Armageddon? Yeah, well shit ain't goin' down like that. If an enormous meteor is hurtling towards the Earth at breakneck speeds, some oil tycoon isn't going to land on it, drill into the center and set off a nuclear bomb, saving us all just in time.

It's just gonna end. Game over. No survivors.

I, for one, would love to die in the apocalypse. If there is an afterlife--just humor me, atheists--then you get to tell everybody out there how it all went down. You get to know everything that human history has to offer. Sweet.

This ship is sinking. We're all going down.

In the end, we're all gonna drown.

Sink or swim. The hour is here.

But never fear, the end is near.

Sleep is for Lovers

2009-02-10T01:01:00.002-05:00

Sleep is overrated. So is love. Love is trouble. Love is cruelty. Love is pain.

Love is like cancer. It doesn't stop growing until it kills you. Not that I'm complaining.

I'm trying a new thing. It's supposed to be cathartic. My own personal Europa.

As a writer, I'm supposed to be the one creating and manipulating through words and images, yet these words seem to have more control over me than I do over them.

By the way, Europa exists only in my head. It's this idealistic vision of the way my life would be if I left school and moved to Europe, at least for a little while anyway. Maybe it's all just fleeting.

Joey says life is meaningless. Maybe, but we're all human (or are we dancer?). So I search for meaning amidst the emptiness, unlike Camus over there. Because without hope, I have nothing. Maybe I have nothing anyway.

A tree fell in a forest. There was no one there to hear it. It made a loud fucking sound.

Maybe now I can go to sleep.

~Mike

P.S. I promise you that the next post will be funny and lighthearted...and maybe a little irreverent. SPOILER ALERT!!! There will be midgets and breasts and maybe a little drug use. Dammit, that sounds like the plot of In Bruges. Originality, too, is overrated.

Restless Legs Syndrome.

2009-01-28T00:14:00.002-05:00

Have you ever seen an ad for some bullshit medical problem on TV and been like 'I have that'?

Well, I have.

It's called Restless Legs Syndrome and it affects those who thirst and hunger for something more out of their lives. Of course, the doctors want you to think that medicine can cure it, but doctors just want to make money off of some drug that is only good for getting you addicted to something new. Yeah, like I fucking need that.

This is what Wikipedia has to say on the subject:

"Any type of inactivity involving sitting or lying—reading a book, a plane ride, watching TV or a movie, taking a nap—can trigger the sensations and urge to move. This depends on several factors: the severity of the person’s RLS, the degree of restfulness, the duration of the inactivity, etc."

It sounds like somebody just needs some goddamn exercise. Never mind the fact that we live in a society that stresses the hell out of us every single day of our godforsaken lives. Aghh, it drives me crazy!!!

I need a stiff drink and someone to punch in the mouth. Oh, and if you "actually" have that and are offended by this, you can fuck right off because I have no goddamn sympathy for anyone who is coaxed in to believing this crap. Where is Denis Leary when you really need him?

~Michael Fucking Carlos

1.20.09 - The Beginning is the End is the Beginning...

2009-01-19T23:04:00.002-05:00

Well, the day is finally here. Bush has left office. In his place stands a man with a whole helluva lot of work to do and a microscopic environment in which to go about his business. Can Obama do it?

As a college student, I felt a strong emotional rush come over me on November 4th. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced in my life. This man stood in front of the entire world on that night and accepted its challenge to save it. It was very hard to avoid feeling a sense of pride on that day--to know that in some small way I was a part of this.

Pride.

Two things of importance happened over the last 24 hours. Irish rock band U2 premiered their new single, "Get On Your Boots." As an avid fan of the group, I eagerly awaited its arrival by listening online to Rte Radio 2fm in Ireland, which played the song on the air at 3:10 AM Eastern Standard Time. A jolt of joy ran through my bloodstream as I repeatedly listened to the hypnotic rhythms and wonderfully unfamiliar melodies of the sixth track off of the band's forthcoming album, No Line on the Horizon. With the naivete of hopeful youth, I gaze out my window at the peaceful calm of the Charles River, and I see with my eyes and feel in my heart no line on the horizon.

The second thing that happened was the fact that when I awoke this morning, I did not have any classes in observance of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. What a magnificent day that we all too often take for granted as just another Monday without any school. Well not today. I went about my business as usual: reading for class tomorrow, having lunch with my sister, dinner with good friends, but something was different. Something intangible was following me all day. It was like I was walking with a ghost.

Now nothing of any particular significance happened to me today, but I was overcome by pride and felt joyful at my very existence on this planet. In my excitement over the new single, I listened to almost every song in U2's canon. When I got to "Pride (In the Name of Love)," tears welled up in my eyes. The opening guitar riff that is absolutely timeless and heroic coupled with the most perfect lyrics.

One man come in the name of love

One man come and go

One man come here to justify

One man to overthrow

In the name of love

What more in the name of love

In the name of love

What more in the name of love

One man caught on a barbed wire fence

One man he resist

One man washed up on an empty beach

One man betrayed with a kiss

In the name of love

What more in the name of love

In the name of love

What more in the name of love

Early morning, April four

Shot rings out in the Memphis sky

Free at last, they took your life

They could not take your pride

What else is there to say?

MEN, LISTEN UP: PMS Symptoms On The Rise

2009-01-18T14:40:00.006-05:00

Now that the FDA has warned consumers to avoid peanut butter indefinitely, we are all at risk to be attacked by something much more deadly than salmonella: Women on their periods.

Of course, most men know to steer clear of the fairer (psh, right) sex during that time of the month. However, my research indicates that the only reason women are able to show any type of emotional restraint whatsoever during these intervals is the combination of chocolate with peanut butter.

No Reese's Peanut butter cups mean that she will be chewing you out instead.

But don't fear, comrades, I have come up with a few handy tips on how to handle the women in your life.

1. Do not, under any circumstances, initiate conversation with any woman regarding her mother, bitchy friend, co-workers, or any women whom she perceives to be prettier than her.

2. Actually listen to her when she's in a complaining mood (which will be always). I know this will be hard, but you might have to turn off the TV.

3. Do not make eye contact with any woman whom you do not already know. Chances are that she will take it the wrong way and subsequently kick your ass.

THE GOLDEN RULE: If all else fails, eat a whole jar of chunky style Skippy, get salmonella poisoning and take solace in the sweet release of death.

Until next time,

~The man without a plan

2009 - I Wanna Sink to the Bottom with You

2009-01-05T03:11:00.018-05:00

2008 is over.

Thank God.

Time to make some New Year's Resolutions.

I resolve to:

1. Host a '50s theme cocktail party and outdrink everyone else there. Then

I'll cheat on my subservient, suburban housewife with a hot, young secretary from my firm, where I sell the lie of the American dream. Then I'll drive home. The Real American Dream.

2. At the very least, play one show with The Clap!, an amazing musical group that I helped found. C'mon everybody, get the Clap!

3. Win a staring contest with an 8-year-old.

I'm just gonna let the awesomeness of that one settle in.

4. Build my credit....card debt.

5. Steal your girlfriend.

6. Kick your ass.

7. Wake up from my delusions of grandeur.

8. Improve my wardrobe to an acceptable adult level.

9. Finally write my first groundbreaking novel.

10. Travel the countr--nay, the world!

11. Stay afloat in the failing economy, or sink to the bottom with the one I love--that's right, YOU, my loyal reader.

Try to keep your heads above the swell, ladies and gentlemen. It's going to be a long swim.

In 2009, the Chinese year of the Ox, let's hope we can be as stubborn as an ox, as sly as a fox, as brave as a lion, and as lucky as a leprechaun, or else we're fucked.

See you in Hell,

~MC

I'm gonna start posting more often, I swear.

2008-11-10T02:20:00.003-05:00

So I haven't written anything on here since I promised to write about my summer.

I didn't fulfill that promise, so why should you expect me to follow up on this one? I'll tell you why: because I am angry and filled with things to say and if I don't get them out then I fear I might combust.

Anyway, I'm gonna keep this one short and sweet but expect some rants to appear in the coming weeks.

As always,

~Miguel Charles

Oh, P.S. My friend Jill is studying abroad in France for the year. I've provided you with a link to her blog in the--wait for it-- "Links" section on the right side of the page. It's the one with the French title (don't worry, it's in English). Read up on Jill's zany misadventures in scenic Grenoble. There are pictures. You'll like it.

New Poll Question

2008-06-30T03:12:00.002-04:00

By the way, this question is totally a joke. If you find it inappropriate, you're an idiot and you've missed the point completely.

It's kind of my immature college equivalent of the fourth grade note that reads:

do you like me? (circle one)

YES NO MAYBE

And if anyone's interested my number is 867-5309. For a good time, call.

Summer is for Fucking (Part 1)

2008-06-30T02:31:00.003-04:00

I thought it was about time to make a new post here. I've learned to hate this Godforsaken blog over the past few months, but I'm gonna try to turn it around in time for the beginning of classes in the fall.

Summer is for fucking because summer is when all the cool kids have sex on the beach and under shady trees and in public restrooms--wait, scratch that last one, that's pathetic, lonely old men, but at least they're getting laid--and the losers like me continually get fucked by everyone but the girl of my dreams. And also because I say the word fuck a lot.

First of all, Fuck you, Grassroots Campaigns Inc., you suck. You take money from people without being able to tell them where it's going. While briefly working for you, I quickly realized that that's because it's going to lobbyists and special interest groups, you fucking hypocrites. "We're nonpartisan, we swear." Oh yeah? Is that why you have a picture of John McCain likened to Hitler in your New York canvassing office and you start off the day by saying left is right and right is wrong. I don't care whether I support Obama or not, don't tell me that you're nonpartisan and then shove liberal views down people's throats. I'm not a conservative, but i'm also not a fucking liar, which is more than I can say for GCI. Good riddance, motherfuckers.

By the way, after I quit, these high class employers withheld my pay for the two days I spent out on the street, discovering that Europeans will stop when you look them in the eye but Americans will pretend to be on the phone or just ignore you entirely. I still haven't received the money, and frankly, I wouldn't accept it anyway. When I came back to the office with a large number of stops (people who stop to talk to me and my clipboard) but only $60 on my first day out, and in the pouring rain I might add, I was informed that I needed more training in how to

get those people to give me their money. The problem is why would anyone give their credit card information to a man on the streets of New York with a clipboard and no identification proving his affiliation to the group that he claims to be representing. I wouldn't and neither should you, because chances are that it's a swindle. Therefore I quit and was essentially fucked as I had wasted all of my money from my job in Boston and didn't even have the prospects for another job. I know, not entirely their fault but nevertheless I was fucked. But that's what the summer is for.

I didn't proofread this post, so please excuse the typos and mindless errors that I may have made.

I'll be updating this more throughout the summer as I find more examples of why summer is for fucking, or in my case, for getting fucked.

My List

2008-04-19T06:43:00.007-04:00

If you want some background info on why I'm doing this read the lengthy post that follows this one. My apologies to those of you who don't have the time or attention span to devote to reading more than a paragraph or two.

The book inspired me to make my own list of childhood dreams, or goals, and to do a check-up of sorts to see how I'm coming along.

1. Become a professional baseball player.

~Status: Failed. However, I did just kick my floormates' asses in some MLB 2K8. I don't care if Sutie's never played before, I'll still be greedy on the basepaths.

2. Go to college. Don't drop out. (Sorry, Dad, but I've always been nervous that I'd take the same route you did. Hope you understand.)

~Status: In production. So far, so good, I haven't cracked under the pressure yet.

3. Get married to a woman that I love with all my heart.

~Status: Fuck, does this one seem like a difficult task at the moment. Maybe in a few years, these girls won't be so fuckin' self-absorbed. Or maybe I'll have the balls to pursue the ones who aren't so self-absorbed. By the way, your obsession with MTV and celebrity gossip makes you LESS appealing.

4. Have kids. Love said kids with all of said heart.

~Status: Complete step 3 first.

5. Go to Ireland.

~Status: In discussions with sister about proposed future trip to Europe. I'm confident this one will happen.

6. Write a book.

~Status: Well, I'm honing my skills as a writer through the employment of this blog as well as improving myself with the criticism and assistance of BU's writing faculty.

7. Become a famous musician.

~Status: Most likely not going to happen; however, striving towards this goal with my heart completely immersed in it for two years really helped me to mature and grow. My continued guitar-playing and songwriting is also an excellent release for everyday stresses and a superb form of self therapy. I'm a fucking artist. Two people will get that joke.

8. Be healthy (as far as it is under my control to do so).

~Status: In progress. I'm in shape, but not as good as I wanna be. Need to eat healthier and do more fun athletic things that I haven't done as much since coming to college.

9. Help People.

~Status: This one's a doozy. I really got ambitious on this one. I envision a future in which I have done everything in my power to alleviate any and all peoples from as much pain as it is in my power to do. If I can, then I should.

Okay, I'm really fuckin' tired; I'm going to sleep. Seriously, please leave comments, I'm curious to see how people respond to these last two posts. Any and all feedback and/or criticism is welcomed and appreciated.

Peace & Love,

~The Mick

Childhood Dreams

2008-04-19T04:41:00.002-04:00

It's 5:32 AM, and I'm wide awake and feel inexplicably alive. I'm in one of those places mentally where you just feel like you're on top of the world. I read a book today called The Last Lecture. It was written by Randy Pausch with Jeffrey Zaslow, a columnist for The Washington Post. Pausch is a computer scientist and professor who was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2006 that would unfortunately spread to his liver and spleen.

In August of 2007, he was given months to live and began palliative chemotherapy to try to ease the pain and buy him a few extra months. Anyway, Randy decided that he wouldn't just give up and so, in September, he gave a lecture at Carnegie Mellon entitled "Really Achieving Your Childhood Dreams." He became semi-famous after giving this lecture, with an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show in October and an hour-long interview with Diane Sawyer that aired April 9th on ABC.

For Randy, he points all of his success to his upbringing and credits his parents with allowing him to achieve his dreams. He likes cliches and quotes from other people, because they are full of wisdom and when you say things that smart people say, it's easy to look smart yourself; so, as Randy says, "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." I, too, love cliches and really appreciate the fact that my parents impart their wisdom on to me.

So, here's my brief (pshh, yeah right, am I ever brief when I become impassioned?) summary of how I came to be reading the book today and subsequently writing this entry. My mom likes to send me chain e-mails with "uplifting" messages. Most of the time, they are written by middle-aged white women who, no offense, don't know shit and need to rely on recycled spiritual garbage to stay positive about their mediocre upper middle class existence. You know, the Oprah crowd. Anyway, sometimes mi madre can be one of them and she sent me a clip from Oprah that showed Randy reprising his "Last Lecture." Long story short, I'm a loser, and I was inspired by what he had to say.

Fast forward a few days. I feel inspired once again, but in a different sense. I just saw economist Jeffrey Sachs give a speech to some students about the economic health of this country and the things that can be done in order to end poverty. He has a new book, too, called Common Wealth. So after dinner, I decided to take a stroll over to the Barnes & Noble in Kenmore Square to pick it up. As I'm browsing through the shelves (one of my favorite pastimes), I stumble upon a copy of The Last Lecture and decide to buy it as a gift for my mother. To pay for my purchases that day, I whipped out my trusty B&N gift card, which I received when returning a textbook my father paid for and by using his membership card for 10% off. Thanks Mom and Dad, always there to help even when you are not really there.

So I was having a good day today, the weather was beautiful, why not take a few minutes to glance through a few pages, see if it's any good? Two hours and 206 pages later, here I am, with a newfound sense of hope. Oh, I almost forgot to mention that my grandmother passed away three years ago after a long battle with pancreatic cancer. If you want to make a donation or find out more about the disease, check out these charitable websites: The Pancreatic Cancer Action Network, and The Lustgarten Foundation for Pancreatic Cancer Research because c'mon, seriously, who doesn't wanna help cure cancer?

Okay, so, wow, I've been rambling. Anyway, if you wanna read an excerpt from the book or see the reprisal of the lecture on Oprah, check them out below. And be sure to read my list of childhood dreams up above and leave a comment on your childhood dreams.

New Link Posted; Je ne sais quoi

2008-04-16T15:13:00.004-04:00

Hey guys,

My friend Jill (who can apparently look sexy and creepy all at the same time--see right) is going abroad to France in the spring, and we will all dearly miss her. Anyway, she will be chronicling her zany adventures commencing in September of this year. She speaks French and has recently come to the conclusion that all of the electronics in her life have decided to revolt against her, for serious.

Wicked sweet!

What's the equivalent of Spanglish when combining the French and English languages? Frenglish, perhaps. Anyway, I assume that her entries will be written in Frenglish. As always, ridiculousness prevails.

Good luck, Jill!

With nothing but love and support,

~Your friend Michel (Je parle Francais?)

P.S. See you in a few weeks at the GSU Tech Rock Band Party!! Augh Yeeaah!!!!!!

Freedom

2008-04-14T02:16:00.009-04:00

So, in case you hadn't noticed, my previous post was an exercise in free speech and I suppose also freedom of the press--which, for the uneducated or unappreciative, gives me the right to employ the use of any words that I desire in order to express myself. This right is monumentally important in understanding why America is such a great country to live in as well as something that we as Americans tend to take for granted--especially in times like these when we feel oppressed by our government (and rightly so) when we should be looking towards the future with hope for change.

It's why I am able to verbally litter all over the internet despite the fact that what I have to say may not be important to anybody but me. But I am allowed to say it, for whatever reason, even with malicious intent in my heart if I so choose. Unfortunately, I oft times choose to express myself with a cynical view of the world. Over the last few days, however, I've been in a much more positive place, and I now strive to embrace the rights given to me by our forefathers and potentially give thanks for the protection I am granted by the government (when they want to--that was a joke, people, loosen up; I can still make them).

I believe in an America where our children can grow up without fear, an America where people of all different ethnic backgrounds

and heritages can live together in harmony, and an America in which I can express myself freely, profess faith to whichever god I choose, or even no god at all, an America where I have the right to my privacy, an America in which I am given the opportunity to live freely in the pursuit of happiness for both my family and myself.

Never give up on America. We are more than a country. We are a beacon of hope, a light in the darkness. We are built around ideas and the free expression of those ideas, whether someone else likes it or not. We are leaders for the world over. And now more than ever, it is crucial that we display our values. The world's getting smaller and that means that our generation is presented with the unique opportunity to help save it. Everyone's watching, let's try not to fuck this one up.

~Michael Carlos

P.S. You see how I slipped the expletive in there at the end. Yep, I still got it.

Fucking Retards!!!

2008-04-12T13:55:00.004-04:00

Bill Gates is not giving away his fucking fortune you mindless fucking idiots. Why would he pay everyone thousands of dollars to send out an e-mail when everyday billions of e-mails are sent anyway? Out of the kindness of his heart, he just wanted to repay all of the fat lazy Americans
who made him rich in the first place. NOT!!

Okay, now, if you get an e-mail telling you this, and you send it on to people, then you are only furthering the perpetration of fraud against the general public. I don't really give a shit if you do that because the general public is amassed of other mindless fucking idiots like yourselves.

This bullshit chain letter has been circulating on the internet for over four years now. But here's the kicker: at current count 97,397 people are in a group on facebook dedicated to this. First of all, even if you were dumb enough to believe the story, how does joining a group on facebook make you any money? And don't say you joined it because you thought it was funny, you know that deep in your heart you actually sort of believed it, you greedy fucking bastards.

Anyway, the world's gonna fucking end, we're all gonna fucking die, and it's all your fucking fault.

Thanks again.

See you in Hell,

~Michael Fucking Carlos

New Link Posted; Check This Out

2008-04-05T14:49:00.005-04:00

So, a friend of mine from high school is not quite as lazy as I am and began writing a daily rant on facebook. His rants are hysterical. He has now decided to post them as a blog on this website. So for anybody who visits my blog and is bored because I never update it, check his out. Be careful, though, because he might take a picture of you in the mirror.

You can find the link to his blog, Jacques Daily Rant, on the right hand side of the page under the title (duh?!) 'Links'.

Cool. I'm done. More later...

RANT!!!!!!!!!! part deux

2008-03-31T09:43:00.008-04:00

"RANT!!!!!!!!!!!!" was one of my best pieces, and it has now come to my attention that the world is completely fucked up. Therefore, I shall rant again.

Today, Monday, March 31st -- 6 a.m.

So I'm leisurely strolling down Comm. Ave. on my way to my weekly radio program on WTBU (SIQ Mondays from 6-8. Wake up with morning SIQness!!!). I glance across the street and what do my eyes fall upon? The majestic prestige of the Warren Towers Taco Bell. Sadly, I cannot stop in later today and enjoy a deliciously unauthentic Mexican feast. Instead, I must toil in my own gloom until I find a new place to satisfy my hunger for familiar, unhealthy foods at a ridiculously low price. Why, do you ask, must I be tortured by this painful separation from the one I love?

Well, according to rumors posted on facebook (the most reliable source of info on the web), this particular restaurant happens to be closing in favor of the soul-ravaging coffee chain, Starbucks (Dun, dun, DUNNNNN!!!!!!). My speculation is that Boston University is getting rid of Taco Bell's cheap, fattening eats in favor of promoting healthy eating options around campus. In recent years, a Burger King that used to grace the sidewalks of Comm. Ave. was also shut down by the University (also according to as-of-yet unsubstantiated rumors).

I, for one, am outraged. Who does Boston University think it is? Forcing its students to be torn from that which satisfies their late night cravings and left with no other option but to shell out valuable dining points on crappy Late Nite in the dining halls. And another Starbucks?! Seriously? That makes five consecutive T stops on the green line where there will be a Starbucks available. Their coffee isn't even that good; I'd much rather enjoy a hot cup of joe from City Convenience, 7-Eleven, or Dunkin' Donuts.

I'm calling 'bullshit' and I urge you all to join me in my unrest at this travesty of an injustice. Something has to be done. There's already a facebook group and possibly, a petition, I'm not sure, but something greater must be done. It may be too late for Taco Bell, but we can take a stand and boycott Starbucks until the University is forced to bring in some other form of cheap eats available late at night (and dining halls and the GSU don't count).

Anyway, I kept walking down Comm. Ave. after my show had ended, and I was offered a free Monster Energy drink. Sweet, I AM tired, and I DID only get four hours of sleep. As I arrive to work, I crack that muthafucker open and chug. DAMN!!!!!!!!!!!! For those of you who don't know, the ingredients to Monster are as follows:

~Taurine

~Ginseng

~B Vitamins

~L-Carnitine

~Robitussin

~Pop Rocks, and

~Crack Cocaine

There are two servings per container and 7400 mg of their energy blend which includes all of the above, plus glucose, caffeine, guarana, inositol, glucuronolactone, and maltodextrin. Therefore, I am high as a fuckin' kite right now. Hope my heart doesn't burst. But, I kid.

Anyway, I hope everyone has an enjoyable day and does not-- I repeat, does not-- go to Starbucks. It is the coffee of the devil. Drink coffee from CityCo, the nectar of the gods. By the way, I know BU has a vested interest in CityCo as well, I just don't care. It tastes good, the people don't bother me, and it's cheap. Fuck you, naysayers.

Keep on livin' the dream, loyal readers,

Sincerely yours,

~Michael J. Carlos, Rantier Extraordinaire

It's Been Awhile..

2008-03-26T10:37:00.006-04:00

Spring is almost in the air. Baseball is coming back to town. The sun keeps chillin' with us long after 5 o'clock. And we still have a whole month until those pesky finals ruin our lives. So what could possibly be bugging me during such a wonderful time of year?

...Nothing. Now, I know what you're thinking. "He's bluffing. He's gonna lull me into a false sense of security and then 'BOOM', he hits me in the face with a roundhouse from his repertoire of rants." Sorry folks, not today. I'm just getting another post on here so that everybody is ready when I blow in a few days.

You see, it's my experience on this planet that everything tends to even itself out. When I'm angry, surely a day will come when things go completely my way and I will be at peace with the world. And on the other hand, when I'm enduring a dry spell of fury, and my life is

actually coasting along without impediment...CRASH!!! It all comes falling apart with one fell swoop, and yours truly flies into a black Irish rage over the injustices that have been committed.

So tread lightly, loyal readers, for a dangerous situation is just around the corner.

And I'll be waiting in the shadows to save the day.

Until then, enjoy the silence,

~MC

P.S. My karma ran over your dogma. I'm sorry, I couldn't resist.

Bob Mould: Still Loud, Still Alive

2008-03-15T00:46:00.004-04:00

On Thursday night, I went into Union Square in NYC to see Bob Mould, formerly of the bands Husker Du and Sugar, play the Fillmore at Irving Plaza in support of his new album, District Line. I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I'd never seen him live and the reviews of his Chicago shows weren't very good according to my dad, who I brought to the show- he forgave me for ridiculing his poor movie choice.

We warmed up our musical palettes by watching U2 3D and browsing around in the local Virgin Megastore. Then, we nearly lost our appetite altogether when the opening act came on around 9. The band's name was Halou, and my father, in his infinite cleverness, said, "Halou, Goodbye." They blew. So we went down to the lobby and read press clippings from shows at the Fillmore during its heyday from 1968 to '71. That helped to pass the time for a while, but I'm an extremely impatient human being. I had arrived, so it only made sense that Bob Mould should accommodate me by going on immediately.

He didn't go on until almost 10:15, and it was well worth the wait. He played hard, loud, and fast the entire show. But the most incredible thing was how melodic he could keep the songs without losing that edge. We stumbled out of there and wandered down the block to the parking garage with our ears ringing from the sheer explosiveness of the music. I'm one more frequency down, but I got another great show under my belt.

New Poll Question

2008-03-03T10:33:00.003-05:00

Hey guys, if you look to your right, there's an ostrich feeding its young!!--no, there isn't, but seriously there is a new poll question posted.

What was the worst movie of 2007?

Vote or Die.

Puffy's gonna be after you now.

You've been warned.

The Loved Ones and The Gaslight Anthem Rock The Middle East

2008-02-24T12:57:00.013-05:00

Last night, I attended the sold out Loved Ones show at The Middle East upstairs in Cambridge. I got there around 9 pm, and the first opening act, LaGrecia, hit the stage at around 9:15. I'm gonna take a guess that they haven't been together too long, but that's only because they look so young and are the first opening act for a group that just got over being an opening act themselves. This threesome from Brooklyn has some real chops when it comes to playing music. What the lead singer lacks in vocal talent he makes up for with his undying passion for the songs. This band, which features a chick on drums (wink, wink?), was extremely tight and each of their songs faded seamlessly into the next, a feat usually accomplished only by seasoned veterans of the rock club circuit. Bravo, LaGrecia, hope to see you guys around again sometime very soon.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing for the next act, The Ergs. This trio looked like three geeks from high school, but I don't like to judge a book by its cover so I decided to check them out. MISTAKE #1!!!! They played like a bunch of geeks, too. The drummer sang, or should I say whined, the ridiculously cheesy lyrics into the mic while trying to keep an honest beat and was for the most part, successful. Now, when it came to the guitarist singing, it might be helpful to think of the sounds made by a dying animal, but luckily he only had lead on a couple of songs. The bass player, aside form looking like he had down syndrome while playing, was actually an incredibly talented musician. However, that was not enough to save this sorry act. NEXT!

By the time The Gaslight Anthem gets up on stage, I'm thinking maybe I wasted my money on this show. MISTAKE #2!!!! This foursome from Jersey absolutely rocked the house. The lead singer and rhythm guitarist belted out the lyrics with a huge smile stretching across his face the whole time. In fact, everybody in the band was smiling and laughing as they played. The crowd sang along the entire time and Brian, the exceedingly charismatic frontman, seemed to love the crowd as much as they loved him. It was the perfect union of man and music. Their setlist included songs that ranged in influence from Sam Cooke to Bruce Springsteen to The Clash. At one point, Brian even sang a few bars from "Stand By Me", the Ben E. King song famously covered by John Lennon. I highly recommend this band to Against Me! fans and any and all serious music fans. Their bass player even looked a little like classic Sid Vicious clips when he brashly stuck his chin out and mouthed the words while smiling and nodding at the crowd like he knew something that they didn't. The only difference, of course, was that he could actually play his instrument, unlike Sid. When it came time for the last song in the set, nobody in the place wanted them to leave. As soon as they were off the stage, I was at the merch table purchasing the debut CD and a t-shirt of my new favorite band. They have a new EP out called Senor and the Queen. GO GET IT!!!!!!! NOW!!!!!! P.S. They're from New Jersey, shocking!? Not even a little.

I don't even need to review The Loved Ones performance. I have now seen them three times, and believe me, they never disappoint. They had an excellent mix of songs from the new album and older tunes in their repertoire. Seeing two amazing acts in one night was so much more than I could ever ask for. Thanks guys for putting on such an awesome show.

RANT!!!!!!!!!!

2008-02-20T15:17:00.004-05:00

This past weekend has caused me to realize my hatred for several varying things in my life.

First on my list is BU "comedy" troupe, Liquid Fun. This is a misnomer, for the troupe is neither fun nor is there any relevant connection to liquid other than the sweat dripping down their necks from lack of laughter. To be fair, they suck at what they do so fuck them. Brooke Assad (see last post) coerced me into working an overnight shift at the GSU Friday night into Saturday. I arrived at BU Central around 2:00 am, armed with several drinks high in caffeine. At this point, the performers were already knee deep in embarrassment. I quickly ordered a pizza from Domino's to help assuage the pain brought on from the boredom that the night was sure to provide. It wasn't much help. I left at 7:00 am and was asleep before my head hit the pillow around 7:30.

Flash forward to noon, Saturday. I awake to the sound of Flannigan's Ball, by the Dropkick Murphys, my current ringtone and obnoxiously loud chorus that pisses off my roommates. It's my twin sister, Kelly.

"I'm going home. Are you coming?"

Ughhhhhhhhhh. Fineee.

I take a few moments to clear my schedule and gather my things, and the next thing I know, I'm on the T on my way to South Station. Before I can even fully process the events that have taken place, I am on a cramped Lucky Star Bus on my way to New York, fifteen bucks poorer and in need of a good shower and shave. After six grueling hours of being stuck behind potheads who keep pushing their seats back in search of a more comfortable baked-out position, we finally arrive in Chinatown. A quick stop to visit my dad at work and my sister and I are minutes from arriving home to the comfort and amenities that only your mother and the house you grew up in can offer.

"How about some Chinese food?"

AHHHHHHH!!!! No more Chinese anything!!

But I never win, so I polish off my fortune cookie and some Coldstone ice cream and it's time to hit the sack for some well-deserved rest. But I can't even make it up the stairs to enjoy the consolation of my soft, fluffy mattress. No, I have to fall asleep on the couch while watching TV. A decision I would regret some twelve hours later when my family woke me up to go pick up my car from my dad's house.

12:30 pm, Sunday afternoon

I arrive at my father's humble abode to find that he needs to run some errands before having a little breakfast. Sounds good, Pops. I'll make the bacon...And I did, as soon as we returned to his kitchen around 4 pm.

"Hey Dad, let's watch One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest. I still haven't seen it. It was one of my favorite books."

"Sure, let's just watch the first few minutes of this shitty movie I Tivoed. Oh, and then we can watch another shitty movie I Tivoed. During that one, I'll wake you up every time you almost fall asleep."

I just want a shower!!!!

Two horrendous movies and a couple of episodes of The West Wing later, I'm on my way home in my own car. Luckily, it's only around midnight.

Monday morning, Noon

YAAAAAAWWWWNNNNNNNN. It's Presidents' Day, so I'm happy because I'm a patriot and an avid supporter of past, present, and future members of the Executive branch of government.

I get in the shower. AHHHH, finally. An hour passes and I'm back on the Lucky Star Bus on my way back up to Boston and my triple dorm room that was meant for a double. I hate you so much, Shane.

Okay. I wake up Tuesday morning around 5:30 am to do my radio show. My co-host Anthia and I trek through the frigid iciness of the godless Boston winter to discover that the COM building is locked. The evil weekend decided to stick around for an extra day or two. But I'm an optimist (anyone catch the irony?), so I find the silver lining in the fact that I can get some extra Z's before work at 10.

I wake up. 10:30. Sweet.

No shower today either, I suppose.

If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all.

Let's recap: Liquid Fun, the Chinese, potheads on buses, movies my dad has on Tivo, my dorm room, Shane, the COM building, sleep. You're all on my hit list for the time being.

~A very angry young lad

Oh, by the way, there's a new poll up. Get your vote on, heathens.

This One's for You, Brooke

2008-02-09T17:05:00.001-05:00

Okay, so here's the deal. I don't have anything new to announce, however, one of my co-workers at the GSU (and an excellent friend, I might add), Brooke, has requested that I post something new on my blog. Look Brooke, you're famous now!

As for the rest of you, the next episode of SIQ on WTBU is scheduled to air on Monday, February 11 at 6 A.M. As a special treat for all of our early bird listeners, Anthia and I will be spinning our favorites from 2007 as well as taking requests from you for your favorite tracks. In the same vein, if you want to vote for your favorite album of 2007, you can conveniently do so to your right.

Also, the show will be debuting the full line-up of characters as we officially welcome our new intern, Noelia Rivera (get ready for some serious hazing and bitchwork, Boston University).

They never should have given me a radio.

Keep the Peace,

~The Irish MC

P.S. Any questions about zombies or the killing thereof may be directed to BU's resident living dead expert and 2007 recipient of the BU Funniest Student Award, Damon Davidson. Damon can be reached at the second floor of the GSU at the Union Information Desk and will be available for zombie training sessions beginning next week.

Y'all best be practicin' yo frisbee playin', ya hear.

The Loved Ones Release Build & Burn

2008-02-06T15:22:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, one of my favorite bands, The Loved Ones, released their sophomore effort, entitled Build & Burn, on Fat Wreck Chords. This is the follow up to their highly successful debut album, Keep Your Heart, released on Fat Mike's label in 2006.

The punk rock foursome from Philadelphia expands their unique sound on this record, adding guitarist Dave Walsh and bassist Chris Gonzalez (formerly of The Explosion) to the already tight duo of Dave Hause on vocals and guitar and Mike Sneeringer on drums. Despite the additions, the best lead guitar lick on the album is provided by Tad Kubler of The Hold Steady on the "rollicking Johnny Cash-meets-Ramones 'Louisiana'" as described by the Fat Wreck website (which offers free downloads of the songs "The Bridge" and "Sarah's Game"-- what are you waiting for? Get over there!).

The album kicks off with a song that could have been on their debut and is sure to be a fan favorite, called "Pretty Good Year". Following suit, the second track, "The Inquirer", is one of the best songs they've ever written, however it still follows the mold of many of their earlier songs. Then, the centerpiece of the album, the anthemic "The Bridge", completely obliterates the mold and effectively pushes the rest of the album in the new direction that the band seems to want to travel in. "Brittle Heart" and "3rd Shift" get the job done and according to the boys at Fat Wreck, feature vocals by the wives of Walsh and Hause, respectively, but you can't really hear them.

"Lousiana" leaves nothing to be desired. It transcends genres and conveys a message of hope for the future that is all too often absent from the mindset of the American media machine. The album's final track, "I Swear", is the band's first foray into love songs. Much slower and quieter than most of the songs on Build & Burn, this track is quite at home in The Loved Ones repertoire even if only for its honest lyrics and Hause's instantly recognizable vocals. Oh yeah, and it's an amazing song that will leave you wanting more of The Loved Ones. I sincerely hope that these guys get huge because they deserve it.

The album clocks in at just under thirty-three minutes, featuring ten tracks. It was recorded at the Wild Arctic in Queens and Kate's Place in Asbury Park, New Jersey. Bryan Kienlen and Pete Steinkopf, members of the Bouncing Souls as well as friends of the band, produced the album and added backup vocals and some extra guitars according to the album's liner notes.

The Loved Ones will be in Boston in support of their new album on Saturday, February 23. They're playing at The Middle East in Cambridge with The Gaslight Anthem, The Ergs, and Lagrecia. BE THERE! I know I will.

It's an excellent album.

GO BUY IT!

NOW!

I just created my first blog ever!

2008-02-06T10:26:00.001-05:00

Hey guys, my name is Mike Carlos and I co-host the sickest show to ever blare through ya eardrums earlier than 8 AM.

The show's entitled SIQ, which is an abbreviation of a phrase my co-host Anthia (she's Greek, it's cool, she comes with accent already downloaded) came up with about her cat ruling the world. You can hear us on WTBU, the beat of Boston University. Stream it live from the web at wtburadio.org or listen in BU dorms on Channel 6.

We're on every Monday morning from 6 to 8, which is SWEEETTTT because nobody has anything better to do (fuck sleep?) that early so they (all three of them, including my mom) listen to our show. LISTEN TO IT!

So, blogs are alarmingly easy to create. I just got published with two clicks of my mouse.

PEACEEE,

MIKE

P.S. I almost forgot, I don't have any eyebrows. Go fuck yourself. Hence the name of the blog